According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Who Needs A Stinkin' Paycheck? Your Wife Says You Do Bud

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Who Needs A Stinkin' Paycheck? Your Wife Says You Do Bud

Hey guys! Does your mother, girlfriend, wife, significant other, nag you to get a job? Mine used to. All three. Now I’m retired and I don’t want no stinkin’ job man. Still, the AARP magazine keeps running articles on how old farts like me can get a job. Supposedly, our vast experience will help us convince human resource people to hire us. PHOOEY!

I actually did break down, and applied for six different jobs over the last two or three months. The money would have been nice. But even though I was always at the top of the potential hiring list -usually number 1 - on the basis of my extensive resume and longtime experience in the field for which I was applying - after the oral interviews I was always told, “Sorry, we found somebody who more closely fits our needs ,” or some crap like that. I admit I have been tempted a couple of times to call my interviewers and ask them how in the H E double toothpicks someone else could fill their needs better than me.

I can honestly say, without much braggadocio, that I was at the top of my field as a right-of-way agent, buying property for government projects, when I retired. Hardly anybody did it better. So what’s the deal? Why do I suspect my age worked against me, even though age discrimination is supposed to be illegal?

Don’t get me wrong, I like retirement. Sam and I have developed a great daily routine. I write, I take Sam for walks or bike rides. I go out for coffee. I mow the lawn, wash the cars, clean the house, cook dinner. Besides being a great right-of-way agent I’m also a dang fine househusband.

But Kathleen has been worried that I might become bored with retirement. Humpf! What’s to be bored? I admit I applied for those jobs mostly to appease her need for me to get a job, and so I could pay off some bills. I showed as much enthusiasm as I could muster for the interviews though. I TRIED! But here I am.

I’m not going to try anymore. I’m happy, satisfied and content. And who needs the rejection? Talk about destroying your ego. I have had a couple of jobs since I retired. I got hired at a local Toyota dealer to shuttle people back and forth between the dealer and the people’s homes or jobs. I just walked in the dealership one day and told them I thought I would be really good at the shuttle job and they hired me. When I quit they lamented me going. That was nice. Later, I got hired at Macy’s for the Christmas rush and was reminded once again how much I hated retail. Unfortunately, both those jobs paid way less than I had made as a right-of-way agent.

I’ve thought about activating my real estate license again, but I really don’t want to work as hard as I would have to work to make any decent money.

My AARP magazine says, “Many companies appreciate the value of older workers. Human resource managers know these employees bring knowledge into the workplace, along with maturity, experience and a proven ability to get along with customers.”

Sure. You see those older mature workers everywhere, McDonalds, retail stores, picking produce, making beds in motels; everywhere employers have trouble finding good help for minimum wages. But no thanks anymore. I’ve held numerous slave-labor jobs in the past and as long as I can live on my retirement income, three bags of poop on going back to work. If an employer I might choose to work for rejects me, like Johnny Paycheck once sang, “Take this job and shove it!”

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