Sam and I like to find humorous items in the news so we can say something . . . uh, witty about them. A case in point is the spate of recent articles on Viagra for babies. Sam and I know we probably shouldn’t go there, but hella bella we just can’t help ourselves.
You people all know what Viagra is for, right? Don’t tell Sam and I you men haven’t at least tried it once.
Anyway, if you’ve missed this little gem in the news, be aware that babies with pulmonary hypertension - a rare condition where arteries carrying blood from the heart to the lungs become constricted - apparently are being helped to breathe better with Viagra. Pulmonary hypertension is very disabling and leaves its little victims gasping for breath- all too often gasping for life; the mortality rate for this condition reportedly is 32% within one year of birth.
The Viagra treatment for babies is being used mostly on preemies and just like the drug aids blood flow in your little wankers dudes, it also aids blood flow in the babies arteries.
According to an article by Sandra Bell, appearing in the Nov.1, 2005 issue of Yahoo! Contributor network (and there are many other articles of the same ilk) the most comprehensive study done so far on this Viagra for babies treatment was a Toronto-based study of 14 children. After a year of treatment, all were still alive and all could walk.
That’s good news. Who doesn’t want to see babies live and grow up to be strong and healthy? But, as with everything else, treating babies with Viagra could occasionally have less than desirable side effects. Some parents apparently have reported unusually aggressive behavior with children who have received the drug. Sam and can just imagine. Well, we can imagine if we let our imaginations run a little wild, which, yes, we are prone to do.
Can you imagine a tiny little baby boy lying in his incubator thinking, “I wonder what that drug they gave me was. I have this strange stirring in my groinal area and my nurse is looking so hot.”
Then you can imagine a conversation between two nurses. “Look at that poor little guy. He’s been sporting a woody for four hours now and he keeps crying and rolling around. He seems to want those restraints taken off his hands for some reason.”
“Yeah,” the other nurse says. “I think you should put him out of his misery by flicking his Bick. Poor kid.”
“I can’t find his little Bick, as you call it.”
“It’s that stubby thing sticking up there.”
“Geez. That’s bigger than my husband’s.”
Anyway,the one nurse flicks the little guy.
“Oh man, he just peed on me.”
Pfizer, the maker of Viagra, reportedly is planning to do a large-scale study with infants now. And we thought Ritalin and other such drugs were messing our kids up! But doctors who have used Viagra on babies with pulmonary hypertension point out that the drug is used only as a last resort in very severe life threatening cases and that it seems to show great promise. Sam and I are betting it shows pretty great promise profit wise too, because if you’ve ever bought Viagra you know it cost like $10 bucks a pill. You can only imagine what you’ll pay for it if used on your kid in the hospital.
Sam and I will not poop on the Viagra treatment for babies. If it saves their lives it can’t be all bad. I just can’t help wondering though if I might have received an accidental dose when I was a baby.
You people all know what Viagra is for, right? Don’t tell Sam and I you men haven’t at least tried it once.
Anyway, if you’ve missed this little gem in the news, be aware that babies with pulmonary hypertension - a rare condition where arteries carrying blood from the heart to the lungs become constricted - apparently are being helped to breathe better with Viagra. Pulmonary hypertension is very disabling and leaves its little victims gasping for breath- all too often gasping for life; the mortality rate for this condition reportedly is 32% within one year of birth.
The Viagra treatment for babies is being used mostly on preemies and just like the drug aids blood flow in your little wankers dudes, it also aids blood flow in the babies arteries.
According to an article by Sandra Bell, appearing in the Nov.1, 2005 issue of Yahoo! Contributor network (and there are many other articles of the same ilk) the most comprehensive study done so far on this Viagra for babies treatment was a Toronto-based study of 14 children. After a year of treatment, all were still alive and all could walk.
That’s good news. Who doesn’t want to see babies live and grow up to be strong and healthy? But, as with everything else, treating babies with Viagra could occasionally have less than desirable side effects. Some parents apparently have reported unusually aggressive behavior with children who have received the drug. Sam and can just imagine. Well, we can imagine if we let our imaginations run a little wild, which, yes, we are prone to do.
Can you imagine a tiny little baby boy lying in his incubator thinking, “I wonder what that drug they gave me was. I have this strange stirring in my groinal area and my nurse is looking so hot.”
Then you can imagine a conversation between two nurses. “Look at that poor little guy. He’s been sporting a woody for four hours now and he keeps crying and rolling around. He seems to want those restraints taken off his hands for some reason.”
“Yeah,” the other nurse says. “I think you should put him out of his misery by flicking his Bick. Poor kid.”
“I can’t find his little Bick, as you call it.”
“It’s that stubby thing sticking up there.”
“Geez. That’s bigger than my husband’s.”
Anyway,the one nurse flicks the little guy.
“Oh man, he just peed on me.”
Pfizer, the maker of Viagra, reportedly is planning to do a large-scale study with infants now. And we thought Ritalin and other such drugs were messing our kids up! But doctors who have used Viagra on babies with pulmonary hypertension point out that the drug is used only as a last resort in very severe life threatening cases and that it seems to show great promise. Sam and I are betting it shows pretty great promise profit wise too, because if you’ve ever bought Viagra you know it cost like $10 bucks a pill. You can only imagine what you’ll pay for it if used on your kid in the hospital.
Sam and I will not poop on the Viagra treatment for babies. If it saves their lives it can’t be all bad. I just can’t help wondering though if I might have received an accidental dose when I was a baby.
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