According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Can't Rush Me or Congress

Monday, November 7, 2011

Can't Rush Me or Congress

Sam and I are wondering if I should run for Congress. We’re wondering this because of Pickles – not the scrunchy kind you take out of a jar, but because of Pickles the comic strip by Brian Crane – it’s my favorite.

In a recent Pickles strip appearing in The Olympian newspaper, Earl’s wife Opal wondered why time couldn’t be more like her husband and just "mosey" by, rather than whizzing by. Well, like Earl I "mosey" and "moseying" is what our Congressional leaders seem to do best. They obviously are not whizzing around trying to solve our country’s problems. Ergo, I might make a good Congressman.

I’ve always said if God wanted me to move faster he would have given me longer legs. Actually, I say he would have given me a longer crotch, but I shouldn’t write that here. I have a long torso, which means I can’t run fast enough to “get out of my own way,” as the old saying goes. Whenever Kathleen and I go walking together (rarely now) she always wants me to walk faster, but I’m content to just mosey along. Maybe that’s why I like walking with Sam – he takes time to sniff every blade of grass in the park and to leave his mark on as many trees as possible. He doesn’t rush me.

I would like to partake of some of those travel junkets our Congressional leaders find time to mosey out on too. According to an article in the Nov. 2, USA Today, travel to warmer more exotic climes like Puerto Rico and Spain are up considerably (to the tune of $3.1 million) since Congress supposedly imposed restrictions on that sort of thing in 2007. Eighty lawmakers reportedly traveled to Israel since the restrictions were imposed, courtesy of a group called the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. Hm-m-m, wonder how the Palestinians view that?

I would never consider running for President because I’ve got skeletons in my closet like most of the candidates vying for the Republican nomination and I loathe lying and deceiving. I’ve never been good at it so I try not to do it. I’m not saying I’ve never lied or done anything bad and won’t ever again, I’m just saying I try not to. I’m not saying I’ve never “punched up” my resume a little or refrained from creative writing when advertising something for sale. But I’m often too honest. I have never aspired to corporate leadership either because I just couldn’t see me lying to cover up my corporation’s responsibility for oil spills and bad mortgage loans, and other greedy money-mongering incidents.

I may be slow – which could possibly qualify me as a Congressman - but I could never toe a party line and butt heads with the opposition simply because my party wanted to be so danged stubborn. The big thing I’ve learned is that everybody is right some of the time, everybody is wrong some of the time and nobody is right or wrong all of the time. Oh, and most of us are wrong most of the time.

I’m generally with Earl on moseying through life. But three bags of poop on our slow-as-molasses Congressional leaders who can’t cooperate with each other long enough to put this country back on its feet. Get the lead out you people!

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