According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: A Thousand Years of Peace?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Thousand Years of Peace?

Is it Armageddon yet?

The Seattle Seahawks keep losing. The Seattle Mariners keep losing. The UW Huskies keep losing. The WSU Cougars keep losing. Our defending champion Storm (ladies basketball) just lost in the first round of the WNBA playoffs. Texas is burning. We have experienced widespread flooding globally. We’re trying to deal with famine, disease, earthquakes, tsunamis and all the other nastiness that Old Mother N. is throwing at us. And now, the sky is falling. Okay, not the sky, but a bunch of space junk.

Many readers might think the world is ending because Netflix has turned on all the couch potatoes. Still others may think the world is ending because the U.S. military is coming out of the closet. We may now assume that the Navy skirt-chasing scandal aka "Tailhook"of 1992 wasn’t about sex, the sailor boys literally were chasing skirts because they foresaw this day when they could come out of their gunwales and feel more secure as the girlymen they are.

Actually, according to the Bible, certain things will have to happen before Armageddon, but fortunately, sporting events are not among them. Whew! Racked by warfare, famine, death and devastation, which are happening almost universally, an Anti-Christ (possibly like Rick Perry or Sarah Palin) will take over the world government and temporarily save us with a seemingly brilliant plan for world peace, economic stability and religious freedom.

But the Anti-Christ will start showing his or her true colors after three and a half years, and in seven years Jesus will return, God will wage war against the Anti-Christ and he will rule the world (once he wins) and we will have 1,000 years of peace and plenty. Just remember, a thousand years to us is but an infinitesimal moment in time to God, so a thousand years to him is a LOOOOng time baby. On the other hand, maybe after that the danged Pacific Northwest sports team will be able to win a game or two. Sam and I advise against holding your breath on that. We have just about given up watching or listening to sports broadcasts because it is SOOOO depressing.

So now I’m looking forward to vacationing in Las Vegas, Sin City, the Whore of Babylon. Kathleen is going there next month for a week-long training seminar and I am going to accompany her. I intend to sit by the hotel pool quietly supporting her with good vibes while imbibing many tall, cool, intoxicating beverages – some with umbrellas, some without. And I hope if I do anything stupid there it truly does stay there. Meanwhile, poor Sam will remain here in Olympia at the kennel where he attends doggie daycare. At least he will be with many of his pals, but I will miss him terribly. Hope he misses me.

Gotta’ go now. I hear the big guns at Fort Lewis (now known as JBLM or Joint Base Lewis McChord) firing howitzer rounds at imaginary enemies. Rick Perry lobbed a shot at President Obama today accusing him of being soft on the Palestinians.

 I would strongly consider Perry a candidate for the Anti-Christ, but I don’t think he has the necessary sneaky cerebral qualifications to pose as a peacenik. He's right up front with his warmongering ways and words.

No comments:

Post a Comment