Help save the poor opossum

Sam and I are in something of a quandary this morning. There is so much need for charitable donations, where do we send one? We can’t possibly send money to help starving children in Somalia and Africa, and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, and terminally ill children at St. Jude’s Hospital, and the Shriners, and the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and the American Red Cross, and United Way, and Planned Parenthood, and . . . The list of needy organizations is practically endless! We’ve already given to the American Red Cross to help people in flood and hurricane-ravaged areas – but there are so many more needs.

I think we’re going to boil our new choices for our next donation down to help animals or to help the kids at St. Jude’s. But truthfully, this choice seems like a no-brainer. As sad and as pitiful as abandoned and abused animals look, the pictures of terminally ill children at St. Jude’s are far more heart wrenching. As far as starving people are concerned, we’re sorry for them but damn their country’s leaders for not taking care of their countrymen as they should. If it were just climate affecting the people in Africa that would be one thing, but the constant war and fighting going on there is really the culprit.

The scary thing about the conflicts in Africa and particularly Somalia, is that there but for the grace of God goes our country. At the rate we are polarizing in our nation, it may not be long until we have another Civil War. History, apparently, teaches us absolutely nothing. It’s really too depressing to think about.

So, rather than send money to the ASPCA Sam and I are going to send a donation to St. Jude’s. They would like $19 a month too, but we just don’t want to get locked into a monthly deduction from our checking account - too dangerous; those little $19 a month debits here and there add up and pretty soon, you have more outgo than income.

The group that Sam and I really feel badly for are all the road-kill possums (technically opossums) we see littering the highways. We think it would be appropriate to save those poor little buggers by organizing the Olympic Possum’s International Savior Society or OPISS. Hope that acronym’s not already spoken for.

Anyway, we’d set OPISS up as a 501c3 organization so you could take charitable tax deductions for your donations. Once we received enough money to pay salaries to Sam and I and defray our overhead expenses – which would be modest, I promise – we could set about sponsoring scholarships for graduating high school students who want to go to a college where they can study how to save the poor opossum.

We could sponsor legislation to build overhead walkways from tree to tree to keep the possums off the road. Maybe we could fund research to develop car headlights that didn’t freeze the poor possum in its tracks. The possibilities are endless. Won’t you join Sam and I and help us drive possum deaths down?

Thank You!