Sam and I saw on TV the other day that this guy in Seattle is advocating medical marijuana for dogs. The idea is that dogs experience pain just like people, therefore, dogs should be entitled to relief too. So, Sam and I talked about medical marijuana for dogs.
“If it will relieve pain I’m all for it,” Sam said.
“You’re only a year old, what do you know about pain,” I asked?
“I see older dogs in pain,” Sam said. “There’s that black lab across the street who can hardly walk anymore. There’s that mixed breed we met walking in the park recently. His people had to bring a baby stroller along for him in case he pooped out.”
“I suppose we’d have to take you to the veterinarian and have him give you a prescription,” I said.
“What’s a prescription,” Sam asked?
“It’s a permission slip from your doctor to buy drugs.”
“Do people need a prescription to buy marijuana,” Sam asked?
“If they want to buy medical marijuana they do. Of course some people just want to buy regular old marijuana and the law enforcement people, especially the Feds, are having a hard time deciding whether one is legal and the other one isn’t.”
“Are medical marijuana and regular marijuana different,” Sam asked?
“No, and that’s the problem,” I said.
“Aren’t there other pain-relieving drugs available,” Sam asked.
“Yes, there are, but some people insist that marijuana is better.”
“You don’t have to stick it up my behind to give it to me do you,” Sam asked?
“NO! You probably would take it in the form of a pill which I would mix in your food or I might disguise it with peanut butter or something.”
“I love peanut butter,” Sam said. “Why don’t you get some of that medical marijuana so I can try it?”
“Sorry. Unless you’re in pain . . . anyway, it hasn’t yet been legalized for pet use.”
“I see.”
“Besides, there might be serious side effects to consider.”
“Like what,” Sam asked?
“Well, many people argue that marijuana is addictive, leads to harder drug use, interferes with fertility, impairs driving ability, and injures the lungs, immune system, and brain."
“”I don’t know what harder drugs are, but I’m already infertile thanks to you and I don’t drive. Maybe I should just get some of that medical marijuana without telling you and try it out.”
“How would you do that,” I asked? “I’m with you practically all the time. Besides, if you were using marijuana I’d know.”
“How would you know?”
“Oh, you’d probably have bloodshot eyes, dry mouth and smell like marijuana. It has a very distinct odor. You’d probably have the munchies.”
“What are munchies?”
“You know, like when you crave treats – which I admit you do a lot anyway. You might also have difficulty thinking, comprehending, and remembering things. You’d probably walk around sleepy looking all the time rather than just in the morning when you first get up. You’d probably be uncoordinated and giggling or something.”
“I don’t giggle.”
“Bad example. Anyway, I ‘m not planning on scoring you any medical marijuana so forget it.”
“Hmphf! Maybe I won’t fetch the newspaper for you anymore.”
“Sam!”
“I’m just saying . . . You know, your eyes look kind of bloodshot today.”
“If it will relieve pain I’m all for it,” Sam said.
“You’re only a year old, what do you know about pain,” I asked?
“I see older dogs in pain,” Sam said. “There’s that black lab across the street who can hardly walk anymore. There’s that mixed breed we met walking in the park recently. His people had to bring a baby stroller along for him in case he pooped out.”
“I suppose we’d have to take you to the veterinarian and have him give you a prescription,” I said.
“What’s a prescription,” Sam asked?
“It’s a permission slip from your doctor to buy drugs.”
“Do people need a prescription to buy marijuana,” Sam asked?
“If they want to buy medical marijuana they do. Of course some people just want to buy regular old marijuana and the law enforcement people, especially the Feds, are having a hard time deciding whether one is legal and the other one isn’t.”
“Are medical marijuana and regular marijuana different,” Sam asked?
“No, and that’s the problem,” I said.
“Aren’t there other pain-relieving drugs available,” Sam asked.
“Yes, there are, but some people insist that marijuana is better.”
“You don’t have to stick it up my behind to give it to me do you,” Sam asked?
“NO! You probably would take it in the form of a pill which I would mix in your food or I might disguise it with peanut butter or something.”
“I love peanut butter,” Sam said. “Why don’t you get some of that medical marijuana so I can try it?”
“Sorry. Unless you’re in pain . . . anyway, it hasn’t yet been legalized for pet use.”
“I see.”
“Besides, there might be serious side effects to consider.”
“Like what,” Sam asked?
“Well, many people argue that marijuana is addictive, leads to harder drug use, interferes with fertility, impairs driving ability, and injures the lungs, immune system, and brain."
“”I don’t know what harder drugs are, but I’m already infertile thanks to you and I don’t drive. Maybe I should just get some of that medical marijuana without telling you and try it out.”
“How would you do that,” I asked? “I’m with you practically all the time. Besides, if you were using marijuana I’d know.”
“How would you know?”
“Oh, you’d probably have bloodshot eyes, dry mouth and smell like marijuana. It has a very distinct odor. You’d probably have the munchies.”
“What are munchies?”
“You know, like when you crave treats – which I admit you do a lot anyway. You might also have difficulty thinking, comprehending, and remembering things. You’d probably walk around sleepy looking all the time rather than just in the morning when you first get up. You’d probably be uncoordinated and giggling or something.”
“I don’t giggle.”
“Bad example. Anyway, I ‘m not planning on scoring you any medical marijuana so forget it.”
“Hmphf! Maybe I won’t fetch the newspaper for you anymore.”
“Sam!”
“I’m just saying . . . You know, your eyes look kind of bloodshot today.”
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