According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Take a bite out of reality TV

Friday, August 5, 2011

Take a bite out of reality TV

Reality bites. (Who said that?) Why then are there so danged many reality shows on TV?

Don’t we get enough reality in the news everyday: famine, pestilence, fire, flooding, war, murder, mayhem . . . ? Yet we are subjected to a veritable onslaught of “reality” shows as if real life isn’t already desperately despicable enough. Sam and I can’t help wondering when the Ron and Julie in the Bathroom show is going to hit the airwaves (our apologies to anyone named Ron and Julie). How about America’s Next Top Dish Washer? How about Celebrities Picking Up Trash Beside Freeways? How about Senior Shopping Wars at Fred Meyer? How ridiculous can we get?

Some of the more ridiculous reality shows on TV – totally not worth watching - include: Reality Nails & Hair Salon; Wife Swap; The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search; Amish in the City; Bridezillas; Dog the Bounty Hunter; Keeping up with the Kardashians; The Millionaire Matchmaker; and Nanny 911. GROAN;

Admittedly, a few reality shows do occasionally create a enough sparks of interest to make them worth at least pausing your channel surfing a minute or two – but only a minute or two - and those include: American Chopper; Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team; Dirty Jobs; Gene Simmons Family Jewels; Pimp My Ride; The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show; Deadliest Catch; Ax Men; and Ice Road Trucker.

Because of all the reality shows and the difficulty sorting out the good from the bad, Sam and I have decided we should create another dumb awards show (there’s lots of those too), to give the really outstandingly BAD, DUMB, STUPID shows their due recognition. A Sammy award, a ceramic likeness of Sam holding a bag or bags of poop, and made in Iraq, will be given to the – er - winners . The winners of this year’s Sammys are: Jon and Kate Plus 8; How to Look Good Naked; Queer Eye for the Straight Guy; Hell’s Kitchen; American Idol; America’s Got Talent; The Celebrity Apprentice; The Amazing Race; America’s Best Dance Crew; America’s Next Top Model; The Biggest Loser; and 16 and Pregnant.

Running away with the top (bottom?) Sammy award – with a 3 bags-of-poop cluster, is Being Bobby Brown. Second place – with a two bags-of-poop cluster goes to The Ex-Wives Club, tied with the Football Wives Club and the Basketball Wives Club.

Dishonorable Mention goes to Growing Up Gotti and The Girls Next Door.

If TV writers and executives could come up with something besides reality shows and all those infernal cop and crime shows I could see myself possibly watching something besides the news (mostly bad) over and over again, and the Seattle Mariners (really bad). Whatever happened to shows like: Father Knows Best; Gilligan’s Island; Gunsmoke; The Andy Griffith Show; The Mary Tyler Moore Show; Leave it to Beaver and those kind of shows.

Like Sam and I said, reality bites. We’re tired of Donald Trump being Donald Trump, Simom Cowell being Simon Legree, surly head chefs making pate de fois mush out of people. We don’t care if you get thrown off the island or can’t dump enough weight to become a big loser. ENOUGH ALREADY!

Can we hear a big WOOF on that?

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