According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Maisy Moo and the Three Heifers belt out those karaoke tunes

Monday, June 6, 2011

Maisy Moo and the Three Heifers belt out those karaoke tunes

OMG! We’ve got a situation here - 1,932 karaoke machines have been seized by U.S. Customs. How are we going to quench the American thirst for standing up in front of people and caterwauling tunes that are hardly recognizable by our interpretations, because we want to be famous? Eat your heart out American Idol.

Not to worry. The machines that were seized apparently were counterfeit. Sam and I didn’t realize karaoke machines were such a hot item, but apparently those illegitimate knockoffs were worth nearly a $1 million on the retail market.  

Of course you know what will happen to those machines, don’t you? Somehow, they’ll manage to escape destruction. A few will remain in the Customs evidence locker and on a day when seizing hot contraband isn’t so hot, you may hear the strains of “I Did It My Way” or “New York, New York” pulsating  out of the evidence tombs like some ghost refrain rising up to the beat of boom-chick a-boom.

Most of the contraband karaoke machines will inadvertently wind up at public auction, because the United States needs every cent it can find to help pay down the national debt. I can just imagine some dim bulb dairy farmer buying the machines with the thought that he’s going to one-up the other area farmers. He’ll check in to the local grange meeting proudly bearing a U-Tube video of his herd singing karaoke.

“An a now frens, here’s Maisy Moo and the Three Heifers singing the very latest Lady Gaga mega hits from her new album, Born This Way.”

The cows will be lined up in the milking parlor stanchions with microphones attached to their heads ala Garth Brooks, and they’ll be munching their daily rations of feed while belting out Ca Ca (I mean Gaga), the Top 40 or the Oldies But Goodies or Smooth Jazz or Easy Listening. No opera of course; that could put the other old gals in the barn off their feed and sour their milk. Sam and I can just see Maisy Moo and the Three Heifers dancing the Texas Two-Step or Boot Sccootin’ Boogie in place while they sing.

It’s quite probable that the other cows in the barn are going to become jealous of Maisy Moo and the Three Heifers; their success probably will go to their heads. You can almost hear the other cows gossiping: “They think they’re so much better than the rest of us now, they think their teats don’t have to be washed before milking.”

“Yes, they really think their cow pies don’t stink.”  

Since we’re blaming almost everything we can on China these days, Sam and I suggest we just blame this whole karaoke fiasco on them too.

Remember, “Low fat sung blooie” (old Chinese saying).

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