Hullo. Hullo. Is this the party to whom we are speaking?”
Sam and I were thinking that we might install an 800 number to our blog. That way you could call us toll free, though I don't know why we'd want you to. It doesn't matter anyway because some outfit in Philadelphia called PrimeTel Communications is trying to buy up all the unused 800 numbers, according to the Associated Press, and we might not be able to get one.
No problem. We'll just get a 900 number. That might be better anyway. We could charge you for calling us. I could probably manage to ask you in a sexy voice if you wanted to buy a subscription or something.
Wait! I've got it. How about a 900 number where you call us and Sam fixes you up with a dog to fit your personality. He could tell by the sound of your voice on the phone what you would be like and suggest the appropriate canine companion for you. If you were gruff Sam might match you up with a German shepherd. If you sounded big but gentle, he might suggest a mastiff. If you sounded like you had lots of energy, a labrador or a sheepdog.
But if you had a shy girlie voice (hopefully, you'd be a girl), a Shih Tzu like Sam would be appropriate or a fluffy pekinese. If you sounded materialistic and feisty, a chihuahua might be the ticket. If you sounded like a no-nonsense business type, maybe one of those greyhounds or afghans would work for you. It's always good to rescue a greyhound from the race track.
Think about it. We could help out humane societies all over the country and make money too. Of course we'd donate some of the money we made to those humane societies. We would. No, really!
Let's see, we'd call our service something like 900-Dial-A-Dog. Huh? Whadya think? Catchy isn't it?
Oh, and if you sounded like you weren't a cat lover and you were having a problem with a cat (like your wife's) Sam might suggest a doberman pinscher or pit bull as a suitable companion.
This is gonna' be fun man and we'll make money at it too. At last this dagnabbed blog might pay off.
Wait! Here's another idea. For 10 cents a minute I'll have Sam bark woo to your dog. What a totally hot idea. Hope nobody's doing it already (well, I didn't mean doing it like that). This is a family-friendly blog. I meant selling this type of service. There are so many entrepreneurs out there it's hard to be original. Can you patent or copyright an idea like this?
I wonder how much money Sam and I could make? Wonder what he'd want for his cut? I pay all his med bills and buy him food and treats and toys. Plus, I spend an inordinate amount of time playing with him. He shouldn't want too much.
Hope he doesn't know about labor unions.
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