Sam and I are wondering if some of our country’s big liars could benefit from the Get Motivated! Business Seminar to be held June 7, in Key Arena at the Seattle Center. It would only cost $1.95 per liar if we pre-registered them. If you owned a business you could send your entire staff for as low as $9.95, so why couldn’t we send those lying folks as a group for the same price? Maybe the liars would come away from the seminar motivated to tell the truth in the future.
The seminar aims to pump participants up to do more business - telling the truth certainly would help - and it features speakers like General Colin Powell, talking about Take-Charge Leadership; Joe Montana talking about leading your team to victory; Bill Cosby on using humor to disarm an audience; Howard Putnam on how to rapidly expand your circle of influence; Laura Bush on conquering unexpected challenges (her husband?); Rudy Giuliani on how to overcome unforeseen challenges; Brian Tracy on creating opportunity out of adversity (GW must have taken lessons from him); General Stanley McChrystal on how to develop mental toughness; Dan Rather on maintaining excellence while avoiding burnout; and Steve Forbes on strategies that thriving corporations use to stay ahead of the pack.
As the ad for the seminar says, “Get fired up! Call 1-800-330-7476 today. Or email GETMOTIVATED.COM. Anybody willing to send Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon, John Edwards, Bernie Madoff, Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mark Mcgwire, Martha Stewart, Britney Spears, Mike Tyson, and all the pedophile Catholic priests as a group to this thing? Sam and I are ready to contribute our buck ninety five to the cause.
Problem though: didn’t Powell lie for Bush and swear there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Didn’t Laura Bush lie at some time during her husband’s presidency and tell him he was doing a good job when all evidence was to the contrary? What about Rudy Giuliani? I seem to remember him lying to a couple of wives that he loved them. Dan Rather is a little suspect in my book too. I have a hard time believing the Cos ever lied, but who of us hasn’t at sometime in our lives?
I don’t know how people get away with lying. I’m not saying I never have, but I really work at telling the truth these days. I mean if you can’t say you’re honest, what else good CAN you say about yourself? Seems to me that’s way more important than being filthy rich or the seven-time winner of the Tour de France or the big banger of home runs. Sam and I are not very good at lying, our eyes always give us away – all that darned Sunday school teaching.
We have so many specially-designated days on our calendars maybe we should have a National-Tell-the-Truth Day.
This will work. Trust me baby. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy are real, and the check is in the mail, I’ll call you, I love you, you’re the only one for me. I didn’t do it!
Oh poop!
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