According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Wonder If We'll All Go Up In Smoke Because of Wildfires?

Friday, August 16, 2013

Wonder If We'll All Go Up In Smoke Because of Wildfires?

Is it Armageddon yet? With all the wildfires occurring in the western United States lately, Sam and I are tempted to ask if our world is about to go up in smoke.

Supposedly, when Armageddon does occur, the earth will be made desolate (scorched) for a thousand years then a new heaven and earth will follow. Okay! I’ll buy that. But when will the earth be scorched and how? Jesus told his followers that no one would be able to predict when the world (as we know it) would end. Many people have tried to predict the end times, but they’ve all been wrong. You can almost hear Jesus saying, “I told ya.”

But the Bible doesn’t really seem to spell out what exactly is going to scorch the earth. Okay, Satan maybe, but what’s old horns-on-his-head going to use?

During the ‘60s we thought the atomic bomb was going to obliterate us in a big ball of flame. But it doesn’t look now like that’s going to happen. Parts of the earth might get nuked - the Middle East perhaps - but most of the earth will survive. But will the earth survive all its wildfires? Every year lately it seems like more and more of our nation is consumed by wildfires.

So, right now you’re probably rightly thinking, “Well, the U.S. isn’t the whole world.” And you’re right. But just consider this: According to the National Interagency Fire Center, as of Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2013, there currently are 8 wildfires ablaze in Alaska, 1 in Arizona, 5 in California, 1 in Colorado, 9 in Idaho, 3 in Montana, 1 in Nevada, 6 in Oregon, 4 in Utah, 4 in Washington, and 2 in Wyoming, or approximately 796,185 acres being charred. Year-to-date, 30,640 fires have burned more than 3 million acres, which is ahead of the 40,000+ fires that burned more than 6 million acres apiece each of the last two years.

What if all those wildfires coalesced together at the same time and swept across our nation? Hasn’t anybody snapped this idea up yet for a movie? I mean, take this a step further. Somebody gets the bright idea to let the fires burn to destroy all those nasty bark beetles destroying our forests and somebody else decides to torch all the homes that have been destroyed by hurricanes and floods in the East and Midwest. Then let’s say someone decides to burn drought-stricken crops. To top all that off, maybe a couple of volcanoes explode then we have another Three-Mile Island or Chernobyl accident. Whoosh, kaboom!

Any of this make you want to unearth that bomb shelter you once started to dig and make it livable this time? Make sure you seal it up tight so the fires above don’t suck all the oxygen out of it and asphyxiate you. I don’t know, I think I would feel like a pig roasting in a luau pit.

Hey! The bottom line here is ain’t none of us gettin’ off this earth alive. Well, probably not anyway. Remember those old sci-fi movies where scientists predicted the end of the earth and people were building rocket ships to take them to other planets? Of course there was limited space on those rocket ships . . .

I’d try to make sure Kathleen and Sam got on board a rocket ship if things came down to that. Oh, and of course I’d try to help our loyal blog readers. Three bags of poop on the rest of you. When the end time came I would just say to you, “Away you vipers. I hardly knew you.” Where have I heard that before?

1 comment:

  1. Why don't you do us all a favor and get on the rocket ship now.