According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Know Why You Shouldn't Marry? Bump Apps Now!

Friday, May 3, 2013

Know Why You Shouldn't Marry? Bump Apps Now!

Say. Here’s a useful smart phone app. Three University of Iceland engineering students reportedly have developed an app that allows any two Icelanders to see if they are closely related to each other simply by “bumping” phones. Their phones emit an alarm if they are closely related.

Talk about an item ripe for comment. Sam and I love this kind of stuff so much we were almost baying at the moon. The Icelander app was brought to light by Jenna Gottllieb and Jill Lawless of the Associated Press. Apparently, since Iceland is so sparsely populated (I wouldn’t want to live there) most everyone on the island is at least distantly related and in danger of winding up amok in amore with a cousin or other relative. Incest rear thine ugly head!

But is it really so bad when two distant cousins marry? I have a cousin whom I’m quite fond of and if the circumstances of our births had been different . . . okay, never mind.

Why is it a problem to marry in your family, you might ask? Well, as most of us know from our high school biology classes inbreeding is fraught with potential problems. If two cousins marry, their offspring can have physical or mental problems. (But don’t Mormons sometimes marry their cousins - several of them?) Anyway, it’s been proven by science that hybridizing - mixing outside genes into the parental pool - is a good thing. Hybridized corn and other seeds are hardier than the original seeds. Race horses would benefit from a little outside influence if you will, they’re pretty darned inbred and it shows in their frailty and frequent breakdowns.

Hopefully, two Icelanders who become involved and want to marry will “bump” their phones before marching up the marital aisle, but imagine if they forget. Instead of the preacher asking if anyone objects to the marriage he says, “Have you bumped phones?” The about-to-be-blissfully-wedded-couple say, ‘Omigosh!” and bump phones and an alarm goes off! Good luck getting a refund on the flowers and the caterer.

Sam and I think it would be cool if there was an app where you listed all the attributes you desired in a mate - like in your meet-a-mate-ads - and when you came across a likely looking suspect, you just pointed your phone at him or her and if no alarm went off, you could start practicing your pickup lines.

Here’s a thought for the Icelanders though. DON’T GET MARRIED. Then you won’t have to bump phones. So many people these days are just having “relationships” anyway. Be careful about creating offspring and you are good to go. Governments seem quite willing now to allow “partners” to inherit wealth, participate in health care and so on.

Personally, I’m glad I bumped into Kathleen at a Fourth of July picnic 20 years ago and didn’t hear any alarms go off so we could get married. It would have been at least a three-pooper if I’d found out that she was my cousin or something.

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