According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: American Terrorists Beware. If You're Bombed We Don't Care

Friday, May 24, 2013

American Terrorists Beware. If You're Bombed We Don't Care

When is it okay to kill an American citizen with a drone plane?

As far as Sam and I are concerned, if you talk like a terrorist, plot acts of murder and mayhem like a terrorist and hang out with terrorists, you are a terrorist and it’s okay to fly a drone plane up your hideout and bomb your terrorist asp. We get itchy trigger fingers just thinking about it.

Why wouldn’t it be okay to kill you - just because you’re an American citizen? Hey, if you’re hanging out with terrorists and plotting or engaging in terrorist activities, you’ve renounced your rights to American citizenship and due process and all that folderol. Hello bad boy. Eat our high explosives!

This whole controversy over killing Americans with drone planes is dumb. Just because we kill American terrorists in foreign lands doesn’t mean we’re going to kill loyal Americans here on our soil - right? Naw! Couldn’t happen.

Okay, it could happen, but let’s hope it doesn’t. Nonetheless, suddenly sneaking off to the Middle East and growing a scraggly beard and donning a flowing white robe bears close watching. And if there’s any kind of proof a former American citizen decides to take up arms against this country - fly with us on martyr airlines. You seriously think we should deal with terrorists more fairly because they used to be American? What do you want us to do, challenge them to one of those mano-a-mano shootouts on Main Street at high noon? Baloney. Save that macho crap for the movies.

This whole situation reminds me of how we used to eradicate unwanted moles and gophers. When they stuck their ugly heads out of their little hidey-holes we’d pop ‘em with our trusty .22 long rifle - preferably with scope so we didn’t miss; same thing with jackrabbits. You can run, but you can’t hide. And what about rats at the garbage dump? Fair game! That’s what terrorists are, fair game - American citizen or not.

Sam and I suppose this posting makes us sound like real rednecks, but we’re not. We’re just tired of people attacking our country, especially the spoiled people who used to live here but now think another country is better. America! Love it or leave it, right? But if you leave it, keep a close watch over your shoulder and listen carefully for a droning sound.

Incidentally, Sam and I are thinking seriously of donating some poop bombs to our military. Only problem is, I think Sam might soon fall behind in production. He might give himself a hemorrhoid trying to keep up with demand.

Ta Ta terrorists. Hail Mary full of grace, may our drone plane bombers rise up to meet you and smack you in the face. Boo-wah-ha-ha!

Silence! I keel you!

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