According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Peace of Mind for Me? Baseball. Dancing's Too Taxing

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Peace of Mind for Me? Baseball. Dancing's Too Taxing

I’ve just finished my Panera Bread cinnamon roll and am working on my coffee. Sam is at Top Dog Daycare. The sun is shining outside. And I’m at something of a loss as to what to blog about today.

I thought earlier this morning that I would blog about peace - as in, we should have some. North Korea is rattling nukes at us; Israel and the Palestinians are still carrying on; another bomb in Iraq killed more police officers (boy I wouldn’t want that job!); a drunk driver killed two people near Seattle and left an another two (a mother and baby) in comas; a drunk driver in Olympia hit a young woman and tore her leg off so now she only has one; a shooting outside a bar near Seattle left three people dead and another in the hospital in critical condition; someone was stabbed near here; two Texas prosecutors and a Colorado prison official were killed - possibly by white racists. GOOD GRIEF! I am so reminded of that song, Let There Be Peace.

The problem with peace is that it has to begin with me and I’m not really at peace. I’m totally wigged off at DISH TV again, this time because I couldn’t get the Seattle Mariners’ baseball game on my set. What the sam hill am I paying $84.86 a month for if I can’t get the ding-dang baseball games on TV? I’m not cussing here, though I’m tempted, because the DISH people didn’t like it when I cussed at them before. Besides, it does no good. But I’ve been waiting for months now for baseball to come back and last night was the opening game of the season or the Mariners and I couldn’t get the game. When I called DISH I was told, “Maybe the game was blacked out (meaning by the league).” But the DISH rep. assured me, she could probably rectify that problem with a $20 upgrade to my service. Fortunately, my contract with DISH expires in two months. I’ll likely be gone when it does.

Whine. Whine. Too bad I can’t bark like Sam when I’m not at peace.

If there is one thing I am at peace about today though, it’s the fact that Washington State taxes certain venues that provide the opportunity to dance. I don’t know if we’re talking about lap dancing, honky-tonking at the local bar, the ballet or what. But according to the local newspaper some people are trying to talk the state legislature into dropping the dance tax - which apparently would cost us about $880,000 in lost revenue.

The idea of taxing dancing venues sounds okay to me. Like a lot of other guys I don’t generally dance unless I’m drunk or I have to. And I don’t drink much anymore. Knowing that I might be taxed for doing the boot scootin’ boogie or the fox trot, also gives me a great excuse to opt out of those activities. I’ll never forget, when I was in the sixth grade my teacher informed my class that we were going to learn to square dance and the only way we could get out of it was to bring a note from home saying dancing was against our religion.

I BEGGED my mom to write me such a letter but she wouldn’t. To this day I blame her for my aversion to dancing. Two bags of poop on dancing when you don’t want to. I’m at peace with that idea baby! I’d rather watch baseball.

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