According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: I Don't Have A Tiger By the Tail When I Swing My Golf Club

Friday, March 15, 2013

I Don't Have A Tiger By the Tail When I Swing My Golf Club

Sam and I read an advertisement on Face book that said it would reveal the top 10 golf swing killers and after reading them, I should be able to lower my score 3 to 5 strokes, maybe as many as 10 strokes. So I clicked on that page and was told after I answered a few simple questions that my number 1 “death swing” would be revealed to me. I stopped reading at that point because revealing my “death swing” was going to cost me money and I had an attack of the cheaps. Besides, unless I missed my guess, this was another one of those deals where they wanted to deduct money from my bank account every month until Tiger Woods became Pope or hell froze over and I have fallen victim to enough of those scams.

Besides, I think I’m pretty sure what my number one golf “death swing” is - going to the golf course! My second golf “death swing” would be taking a club out of my bag. My third “death swing” would be thinking I could actually drive a ball 250 yards down the fairway. My fourth “death swing” would be attempting to do that.

Need I go on? I like golf a lot. I don’t love it, I just like it. I’m pretty much a fair-weather golfer - no rain, no wind, definitely no snow. The best game I ever played was in 95-degree weather and I shot a 95. Capische? Yes, that score was for 18 holes smart alecks!

But I’m not impressed with a promise to shave 3 to five strokes off my usual score which perennially hovers around 100 to 120 for 18 holes. Even taking 10 strokes off that isn’t very impressive (although I guess it would be better than nothing).

When I first started playing golf I could count on losing a dozen or more balls each round. I always made sure my bag was well stocked with good cheap used balls. I couldn’t afford to buy new ones at the rate I lost them. Fortunately, I’m down to one or two balls a round now. I consider that real progress.

As much as I hate to admit it, the biggest thing that affects my swing is my attitude. I used to be able t hit the peewadding out of a baseball so I just naturally assumed I should be able to do the same with a golf ball. NADA. And $300 drivers would have made no difference so I didn’t buy one of those. I hate to admit it, but the biggest problem with my golf swing is that I hate taking advice about it from other people and I’ve never shucked out the green stuff for a lesson.

But I’ll probably go on playing golf. Now that spring is nearly here I’m starting to get the itch again. I wonder if I can sneak Sam onto the course in my bag. I’ve got a couple of pockets on that thing I think he would just fit into. Trouble is, he’d probably want to poop on one of the greens and I think the groundskeepers would frown on that.

Come to think of it though, I’ve been tempted a time or two to poop on a golf course myself. FORE!

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