According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Not Swallowing Food Allergies

Monday, January 21, 2013

Not Swallowing Food Allergies

Sam seems to think I might be able to sue Kathleen for feeding me too much broccoli.

He showed me an Associated Press article which said that severe food allergies can be considered a disability under the Federal disabilities law. The AP article reported that the U.S. Justice Department‘s civil rights division recently settled a case against Lesley University of Massachusetts, because a student complained to the Feds when old LU would not exempt that student from a meal plan even though the student was required to eat at the university and couldn’t stomach some of the university’s food.

Quoting now from the AP article, “Under the agreement, Lesley University said it will not only provide gluten-free options in its dining hall, but also allow students to pre-order, provide a dedicated space for storage and preparation to avoid contamination (of other food), train staff about food allergies and pay a $50,000 cash settlement.”

Sam and I swear to you by all that’s holy that’s what t he Associated Press article said. The article went on to conjecture that the decision against Lesley U. “leaves schools, restaurants and other places that serve food more exposed to legal challenges if they fail to honor requests by people with food allergies.” You think?

Do you know how many food allergies there are? As far as Sam and I can tell, everybody on earth is allergic to some kind of food. I’m sure that I must be allergic to broccoli. I’m probably allergic to acorn squash too, because it makes me nauseous just to think about eating it. And yams and sweet potatoes? They make my face pucker up like Mr. Yuck.

I’m sorry, I can’t help thinking back to all the times my parents reminded me when I complained about my food that children in Africa were starving and I should be grateful. OMG we are so picky in this country. I mean, if you have a food allergy that might kill you (like peanuts) by all means don’t eat that food. But surely Lesley University must have served some kind of food that the suit happy student could have eaten. Personally, I’m not supposed to eat so much sugar. Unfortunately, I’ve always believed if one cookie or donut is good, several more are better.

I don’t mean to make light of allergies, but we are so spoiled in America we think we need to outlaw soft drinks and high-fat fast foods to protect ourselves. We outlawed red dye because it came from bugs. Now we’re down on eating red meat and gluten. I’ll never forget the couple of years I cooked in a restaurant how picky people were about their food. I always wanted to tell a complainer, “If you don’t like the food here go back home to mommy.” And I know of people who have refrigerators and medicine cabinets full of allergy potions and pills. I’m sorry, but I think I’ve developed an allergy intolerance.

I have to go now because I can smell Kathleen’s meat loaf baking in the oven. Thank God I’m not allergic to meat loaf. Maybe we should all chip in and buy that Lesley student a hot plate or microwave oven for her room. Two bags of poop on people who want to sue us to make us accommodate their eating habits.

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