According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Will You Believe Hard Enough?

Monday, December 24, 2012

Will You Believe Hard Enough?

Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Sam and I watched a movie titled Single Santa Seeks Mrs. Clause on TV Saturday night. The 2004 movie starred Steve Guttenberg as the son of Santa Claus. Son of Santa was looking for a wife before dad turned the reindeer reins over to him. Of course the hunt for Mrs. (Right) Claus was beset by problems, not the least of which was Crystal Bernard’s refusal to believe in the Ho Ho guy. She had to believe in order for the movie to end as it was supposed to, which fortunately, she finally did. She and her young son then wound up at the magical North Pole with Steve and they all lived happily ever after.

The movie was nice - no cussing, no sex, no killing somebody every 30 seconds. I would have really enjoyed it if it hadn’t been for that danged “believe” thing again. I’ve harped about that before, but here I go again.

I wrote the following in December of 2011 and I’m running it again because I think it’s pertinent.

So many people, especially merchants trying to sell us on the magic of Christmas shopping, tell us if we only believe in something, it will happen. Macy’s even has the word “Believe” plastered across its Christmas shopping bag.

Baloney on believe – in spite of what Denver Bronco quarterback Tim Tebow says, (he’s a New York Jet now). One of my nephews has even promised to convert to Christianity if the Broncos win the Super Bowl. Don’t worry, it ain’t gonna’ happen this year (boy was I right!)

This whole believe thing reminds Sam and I of the deal where you have to suspend disbelief when you read a fiction novel, because the action in the novel COULD happen. Well sorry people, you can believe all you want in something but there is such a thing as reality too. Hello?

I’m not saying I don’t believe in miracles, I do. In fact, I myself am a walking talking miracle because I have narrowly escaped death six times. Yes, I said six times. I remember every instance very well. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a cat. I’m hoping I still have three lives left to go.

The problem I have with this “believe” thing going around is the potential for extreme disappoint it engenders. I mean, little kids really think they can become professional sports superstars if they only believe. Many people – American Idol and Dancing with the Stars contestants – think they can make it to the big time in show biz if they only believe hard enough. Never mind that they can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Of course Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan and Andy Williams weren’t great singers either, so what do I know?

But the problem is, no matter how good you are at something and no matter how hard you believe, you can’t always run the fastest, jump the highest, dance the best or act in an Oscar winning movie. For every success story of somebody believing in something and achieving a lofty goal, there are hundreds or thousands of hard luck stories of people who didn’t get what they wanted. Our mental institutions are full of them and doctors dispense millions of little pills to quell the depression brought on by disappointment.

Luck often plays a bigger role in life than believing does. You think you can win the Lottery just by believing? DON’T believe it. You think you can get a date with that handsome hunk or win the hand of that beautiful blonde cheerleader just because you believe hard enough? Fool!

It is good to believe and to try to achieve. Just don’t sell yourself short when it doesn’t happen because odds are the thing you want to achieve probably isn’t going to happen. If you shoot for the moon and only hit an asteroid, that’s still an accomplishment. Hard work and a lot of luck may combine to get you what you want, but simply believing you’ll arrive at the triumphant goal line of life just might not make it so.

Three bags of poop on not getting what you want for Christmas. Just don’t get down on yourself for not believing hard enough. Merry Christmas anyway.

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