According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Better Late Than Never? NO!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Better Late Than Never? NO!

Are you going to be late for your own funeral? You know that saying, right? Some people just seem to be late for everything. Are you one of those?

Sam and I hate being late for things. We’re usually early birds. We devote a certain amount of time prior to going anywhere planning on how to arrive at our destination on time. Not to say that we haven’t ever been late. Actually, I don’t know about Sam, but I’ve been late a couple of times in my life and really regretted it. One time I was supposed to meet my daughter when she came home from kindergarten. To this day, I feel like a criminal because I blew it and arrived home an hour late to find her curled up on the front porch hugging her knees and sobbing her little heart out. That was not good.

But I’m not generally late. Some people are repeatedly late. Psychologists say those people are late because they fail to plan to arrive on time or because they are manipulators - usually both. Perennially late people think their time is more valuable than ours and that they should be the focus of attention when they arrive at their destination, so they make sure they’re late. Oh, they can offer up a thousand excuses, but the bottom line is, they wouldn’t be on time to save their lives (so to speak) or to attend their own funeral.

Speaking of funerals, I was asked to be a pallbearer at the funeral of one of my aunts. She was to be buried at this hillside cemetery where several other relatives were interred. I remember taking hold of my assigned handle on her casket and looking down the hillside where I had to carry her and having a vision of slipping on the dewy grass and watching my aunt zip away faster than the log ride at Knot’s Berry Farm. Do they still have that ride I wonder?

Anyway, I hung on to my aunt’s casket for dear life and made sure that my every step was on terra firma and we got her planted all right. Whew! If I had dropped her she would have been late for her funeral.

I really hate it when the horse I bet on comes in late - you know, after all the other horses have crossed the finish line. If the nag didn’t injure himself, I’d be tempted to do it for him. Late airplanes really bug me too.

I usually fly Alaska Airlines because they seem to have the most flights out of Seattle, on time, to where I want to go. But on one occasion my flight was delayed in Seattle by half an inch of snow because Alaska had no one on hand to de-ice its plane. I call it lack of planning when a company based out of Alaska isn’t prepared to de-ice its planes. Another time my flight was delayed because Alaska had to replace a part. An hour went by and it was announced that a new part had been found and if it worked my flight would depart ASAP.

The part didn’t work. Another part was coming but we would be delayed another hour. That one didn’t work either. At that point I turned to a person seated next to me in the waiting area and said, “If the third part isn’t a charm and doesn’t work,” I’m outa’ here.” Fortunately, the third part worked.

Now Sam and I have to post this blog on time so all you people can read it. Two bags of poop on you if you procrastinate and miss it.

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