According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Don't Squeeze the Coupons!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Don't Squeeze the Coupons!

Sam and I knew it was just a matter of time before some smart-aleck business person thought of putting advertisements on toilet paper. All we can say to that is, “Aw crap!”

According to an article in the Detroit Free Press, written by Katherine Yung and reprinted in the Tuesday, Aug. 21 edition of USA Today, brothers Jordan and Bryan Silverman have formed an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based start-up company called Star Toilet Paper, and “recently started selling ads and coupons printed on sheets of toilet paper.”

Can you imagine your grocery clerk at the checkout register accepting a toilet paper coupon? If I were the checker my first question would be, “You got this where?” My second reaction would be, “I ain’t touching that if it came out of a bathroom. Manager! Get you hairy tush over here now!”

Apparently, most businesses that have bought into the toilet paper advertising scheme have not yet been able to gage whether they’re cleaning up. The toilet paper ads also reportedly feature coupon codes that consumers can redeem at

The coupon toilet paper could have one advantage: no more stocking of magazines in the loo. But drawbacks seem more plentiful. Imagine a person sitting on the thrown yanking huge wads of TP off the roll to find a coupon he or she wants to use. The next person who entered the bathroom would find a mound of unused TP on the floor. Worse, the coupon saver might try to flush a lot of unused TP down the hole and flood the bathroom. And possibly some yahoo would lock herself in the bathroom, say at Starbucks or McDonalds and spend so much time in there, looking for a dollar off a cheeseburger or a venti latte, customers who really needed to use the bathrooms (like Sam and I when we travel I-5 to Montana) would start staying away from those establishments.

Sam and I can imagine a person coming out of a public restroom with little bits of toilet paper sticking out of their pockets. And what about thieves who steal TP (there are some you know)? They’d be waddling out of the bathroom with so many rolls of wipey wipeys stuffed under their clothing they’d look like the Michelin Man on steroids or like one of those huge packs of roles sold by Costco.

Worst-case scenario: you could spend so much time in the bathroom reading toilet paper ads you’d miss the multi-million dollar ads for the Super Bowl. It might not have been a bad thing to miss some of the ads for the Olympics, but the Super Bowl? No way man!

At least the advertising TP is two-ply and not that wimpy one-ply stuff. I can just imagine my wife Kathleen telling me, “Don’t use the TP in the guest bathroom until I get a chance to read the ads.” Good thing she’s not a real avid shopper like some women I know.

Sam and I say three bags of poop on toilet paper advertising; neither of us reads when we’re doing our duty, so we’re not in favor of the ads. Why can’t people just leave certain things alone? Don’t squeeze the TP Mr. Whipple, it’s got advertising on it. 

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