May I Have Cake & Eat It Too?

Sam and I are trying to avoid eating sweets. Okay, I’m trying to avoid them. I cut Sam off even though he didn’t want to stop eating them. He and I just don’t understand why things that taste so good have to be so bad. Why?

Of course, I’m sitting at Panera Bread right now enjoying one of their cinnamon rolls and a cup of coffee. Sam’s at Top Dog doggie daycare playing with his pals. But I’m determined not to eat anything sweet the rest of the day. Lunch probably will be a peanut butter sandwich and glass of milk at home and dinner will be pork chops and asparagus.

I cut Sam off a few weeks ago because he was getting so spoiled he wouldn’t eat his dog food. I thought if I ate ice cream and cookies or cheese and crackers I should share with my little bud. I mean, I was taught to share when I was growing up and every time I sat down on the couch to enjoy a snack, Sam jumped right up into my lap and looked at me with his expectant little brown eyes and I shared.

But Sam became lethargic and started having difficulty pooping properly - not to mention becoming really demanding of treats - and I became pretty concerned. The vet said there didn’t appear to be anything else wrong with Sam, so I vowed to just feed him dog food and see what happened. It was tough at first because he barked and jumped up and down and whined for treats, but I was steadfast in my tough love. I withheld even bona fide doggie treats until he became hungry enough to start eating his dog food again. Pretty soon his energy returned and he’s making nice poo-poo now like he used to. He still would like treats, but all I give him now are dog treats - and not so many of those.

So, lesson learned, maybe. I went to the doctor last week for a routine checkup, and having gained weight and having no luck lowering my blood sugar, I decided I needed to withhold treats from myself too. Naturally, life has conspired against me. My wife’s parents and one of her sisters came over from Montana to visit for a few days. My wife bought cookies and strawberries and blueberries at the grocery store and baked a cake. The in-laws brought beaucoup cookies, some sweet bread and candy with them. One day, we went out and bought donuts too. I totally OD’ed on the good bad stuff.

If I could have anything I want I guess I would ask for willpower so I would know when to quit stuffing my face with good food that’s bad for me. I might as well be abusing drugs or alcohol. I’m just damaging my heart and arteries rather than my liver. I like to blame growing up in a large family for my gluttony. In my poor family of seven kids if you didn’t eat something when you had the chance it would soon be gone - especially sweets. And get-togethers with relatives always featured lots of good bad stuff.

I walk Sam in the local park four or five days a week and we walk anywhere from a half mile to a mile or more but my doctor says I need more exercise. Why can’t bending one’s arm from plate to mouth qualify as a good calorie burner?

Three bags of poop on giving up sweets (Sam’s barking his agreement).