According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Does Your Vacuum Define You?

Monday, May 14, 2012

Does Your Vacuum Define You?

Happy post-mom’s day ladies! Sam and I hope you weren’t presented with something as unromantic as a vacuum cleaner on your special day. To mimic Forrest Gump, life is like a vacuum cleaner. You never know what you’re going to suck up along the not-so-red-carpet of life.

Most of the time around my house I’m sucking up dirt that Sam brings in. You never know what is going to stick to his hair as he rolls around out on the lawn or driveway. I’m tempted sometimes not to let him roll, but the look of sheer pleasure on his face when he’s doing it stops me. How could I deny him that little bit of pleasure?

But speaking of vacuum cleaners, what kind do you prefer? We have this canister type that is supposed to roll along behind us and follow us wherever we go. But most of the time it rolls into the walls or into the furniture and gets hung up and my feet get tangled in its cord. Then I have to stop vacuuming and pull the thing back on track or disentangle my feet. Personally, I prefer the stand-up push-around type that goes where you make it go. I don’t like that canister because I constantly have to worry what it’s going to hit or hang up on next.

So, by now, you’ve deduced that we don’t own a Rumba or Roomba or whatever those little round jobbies are called. You know, the cordless wonders that are supposed to roam your house unattended and clean you carpet while you leisurely sip tea and watch a soap opera. I don’t trust those suckers. You leave them alone for a minute and I bet they sneak off to a corner somewhere and don’t do their job. It’s hard to get good help. And how can they possess enough suction to really clean down deep?

We also don’t have the built-in type vacuum where you just plug your nozzle into a hole in the wall. Those are pretty nice and all you have to drag around is the hose. But our neighborhood developer didn’t install those in the houses he built, so we are not quite as upscale as we could have been. Dust bunnies do not fear them.

We don’t’ own any of those light, powerful little vacuums they advertise on TV either. I mean, I’m glad they’re handy for cleaning hotels (although I’ve never seen one in a hotel), but we don’t clean hotel rooms much at our house.

What do you suppose it says about Kathleen and me though, that she prefers the canister vacuum and I prefer the push-around? She’s a mom, so maybe having a canister follow her around is like having her kids follow her around or something. Maybe big old me prefers aggressively pushing stuff (or people) around - NOT! I just like things out in front of me where I can see them. Kathleen drives me crazy at the grocery store because I’ll be pushing our cart around and she’ll be lollygagging along behind me, then suddenly, she’ll disappear down an aisle somewhere. I have a permanent crick in my neck from twisting it around to see where she went.

Hope you had a Happy Mother’s Day ladies, not matter what type of vacuum you prefer. Two bags of poop on your husband or significant other if he forgot to buy you a card or flowers. I took Kathleen to the opera last night - is that love or what?

No comments:

Post a Comment