According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Bray U Don't Have A Snootfull

Monday, April 2, 2012

Bray U Don't Have A Snootfull

Sam and I want you to know that some people are making jackasses of themselves by abandoning their donkeys.

No, this has nothing to do with Democrats abandoning their party, although many of them apparently are doing just that. Obama no longer is their white knight of choice (he never was white was he?) because he hasn’t produced enough economic miracles to please them.

Instead, farmers in east Texas and north Louisiana are abandoning donkeys “by the hundreds,” according to an Associated Press article by Janet McConnaughey. The donkeys are no longer needed to protect cattle herds - to chase off wolves and coyotes and other predators - because the cattle herds are being sold off. A lingering drought and the high price of trucked-in feed hay are forcing ranchers to sell their bovines en masse. Texas reportedly has 1.4 million fewer cattle than it did a year ago and the donkeys, who chase predators away by braying at them, baring their teeth, biting and kicking, are finding themselves downsized - out of their jobs. Who woulda’ thunk it eh?

But hey, put your worries about donkeys - be they the four-legged braying kind or the two-legged braying kind to rest and chill. Have a drinky poo or two and you will feel better. An article by Makiko Kitamura in Bloomberg News reports that Harvard researchers and other braniacs of their ilk have come to the conclusion (or is that occlusion?) that “men who survived a heart attack and drank two alcoholic drinks a day had a 42 percent lower risk of death from cardiovascular disease and 14 percent lower risk of death” from other causes. My grandfather always said it was his homemade wine that helped him live to be 100. Women apparently can expect similar results as the men from just one drink a day. That figures because Kathleen drinks one glass of the old grape stompin’s and gets totally giggly. Two glasses and she falls asleep on her - uh - couch.

Okay. If you’ve read this far you are now wondering what the heck donkeys and alcoholic drinks have to do with each other. Heck if Sam and I know, except that booze often will turn you into a braying ass. If you are of the Republican persuasion and thus an elephant, too much booze will cause people to say you have a snoot full. All the Republican presidential hopefuls Sam and l have seen on TV appear to have their snoots full and certainly sound like a bunch of braying asses. Come election time, let’s downsize those people and turn them out to pasture. Hopefully, they’ll wander off somewhere where we never have to hear from them again, the wolves and coyotes hard on their heels.

Three bags of poop on political candidates with their snoots so full of themselves they sound like braying jackasses. Hee-haw!

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