According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Hold the Horn Honking, Huh?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Hold the Horn Honking, Huh?

Sam and I see the Washington State Supreme Court has decided that honking one’s horn is a freedom-of-speech issue therefore horn honking cannot be outlawed by municipalities attempting to instill a little peace and quiet in their communities. Contrary to that, the Washington vehicle code prohibits honking except in an emergency.

We like the emergency concept best. People abuse their car horns and assault our ears way too much. You sit at a stop light just a second too long to make sure the intersection is clear and some obnoxious yahoo behind you will lay on his or her personal honker.

Boys who sit outside your house honking their horn to get your daughter to hurry up are obnoxious too. Fortunately, you can usually stop that by walking outside while cleaning your shotgun. People you ride-share to work with should refrain from honking outside your house too. If you’re making them late they should just drive off. You won’t be late more than a time or two after that.

A few years ago, a neighborhood truck driver, brought his truck home overnight during the Fourth of July weekend. Said neighbor celebrated our country’s independence with a few too many brewskies. Somehow, the young daughter of a visiting friend of his locked herself in the cab of the truck and commenced blowing the air horn. This was around 11 p.m. Every time the little girl blasted me and my wife out of our bed with that air horn, our neighbor and his friends laughed uproariously. I yelled across the backyard pleading with our neighbor to cease and desist, to no avail. Finally, I finally called the Sheriff. The neighbor has since moved, but I suppose now the State Supreme Court would say he had a right to blast me out of my bed.

Car security systems are the worst offenders for honking horns. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t hear a car’s alarm honking like a deranged fiend. “Somebody’s trying to steal me. Help!”

One time on a trip to California I stopped at a fast-food restaurant for a hamburger. After going inside to buy my hamburger, fries and soda I decided it was such a beautiful day outside – and because I had been sitting for several hours - that I would eat standing beside my car. I forgot I had locked my car with the windows down and the sunroof open. When I reached through the driver’s side window to unlock my car, the alarm went off like a five-alarm bank-robbery and London air raid siren all rolled into one and it took me a good ten minutes to become unrattled enough to figure out how to turn the darned alarm off. I was tempted to just run away and leave the car as if I’d never seen it before.

Maybe we should “Occupy” the State Supreme Court. But really, the only place I truly want to occupy is some place quiet. Unfortunately, many of the places I like to occupy play rock music or hip-hop so darned loud you can’t hear a truck driver’s air horn, let alone a little Japanese beer-can beeper, with hearing aids. Three bags of poop on obnoxious horn and their honkers.

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