Low Prices Better Than Rewards

Dang those annoying rewards cards.

Every time I buy anything the cashier asks me if I have a rewards card. I usually say no. I don’t want to wind up with a wallet so full of rewards cards I walk around looking like I have a bulging tumor on my butt.

I have a few rewards cards, but I’m constantly offering the cashier at Pet Smart my Fred Meyer card or I offer the Safeway checker my Panera Bread card. And I hate it when people in front of me in the express checkout line fumble around looking for their rewards cards. Express means quick, fast – NOT SLOW.

Here’s a scenario for you. How ‘bout if Saint Peter asked you if you had a rewards card to get into heaven? How ‘bout if the devil asked you for a rewards card to get into hell?

“What’s rewarding about going to hell,” you ask.

“It’s warm down here,” the devil smirks.

If you say you don’t have a rewards card, the clerk or cashier always asks if you would like one. If you say yes, they want you to fill out an application or go online. I can see Saint Peter saying, “Just step over to that cloud there and fill out this application and you’ll be all set.”

“But I thought heaven was the ultimate reward,” you object. Now Saint Peter is frowning at you. Not good.

It seems to me that rewards cards are nothing more than a way to keep track of my purchases so the retailers can send me advertisements to get me to buy more of the same stuff. I have rewards cards that give me a little something now and then. Uncle Fred Meyer sends me discount coupons and a “voucher” for so many dollars every month, based on how much I’ve spent previously. I like that. The new Panera bread card I just signed up for gets me a free latte and a pastry first time I use it. I love their bear claws. Got a nice reward at REI the other day because I had $16 coming as a reward for past purchases. I found a nice vest on sale, a clerk gave me a 30% off coupon, and I wound up paying less than $10 for a $69 vest. That’s the kind of reward I can live with! Other than that, I haven’t been rewarded much. Car dealers keep advertising that they’ll give me $1,000 cash back if I buy a new car, but why don’t they just reduce the price of the danged car? Or here’s a thought – how about the amount of the monthly payment?

The rewards cards that really irk me though are the ones banks offer you. The usual reward offer from banks is that they will give you 5% cash back on purchases. Whoopee Doodle! Make it 25% and we’re talking. But 5% of $10 is 50 cents. Bah!

Two bags of poop on rewards cards. Sam and I consider two essential elements when buying something – price and quality. Rewards cards don’t mean much to us.