Tacky lemonade story too wacky

Say, did you see the story about the three girls in Midway, Georgia, who got busted for selling lemonade (gadgetbox id 4429957). They were trying to raise money to go to a water park but the local police chief and a deputy shut the girls down. The girls probably failed to offer the cops a free beverage, but the cops said they were busted because they had no business license and no food permit and did not post a list of the ingredients in their lemonade.

Good thing the Barney Fife boys busted those girls. They could have been selling cyanide-laced kool-aid ala Jim Jones of Guyana fame. That would have been one of those acts of home-grown terrorism that we’re being told to watch out for these days. You can’t be too careful you know? The good citizens of Midway should pin medals on their crime-fighting boys in blue.

Sam and I are trying so hard not to laugh up our lunch we’re nearly choking to death. Are the cops in Midway nuts? Do they have nothing better to do? Whatever happened to writing parking tickets when your crime spree cooled off? Parking tickets bring in revenue, busting lemonade stands doesn’t. Lemonade stands in people’s front yards every summer, with little kids trying to make a few pennies, are a time-honored American tradition. We’d sure rather patronize those kids than all the panhandlers we see at every corner of town. Whatsa matta you guys, eh?

A real crime would have been if those three girls were trying to raise money for breast augmentation (another story we read in the news). All the girls had to do was nab one of their mom’s iPhones. With an iPhone app appropriately named Boob Job they could have gotten more of a lift out of life than they did from the cops - or would have gotten from the water park.

This is no joke! Those girls could have bought the Boob Job online from the Apple App Store for a dollar  The way it works is you take a photo of yourself, swipe, drag, and pinch your fingers against the iPhone's screen a few times and you can see what you would look like with a boob job, er a breast augmentation. Good grief! Wonder if the wife would like that app? Probably not.

Sam and I are thinking that the lack of breast augmentation might have been the reason a songwriter in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, never wrote a song about his girlfriend. When she complained about his lack of musical ardor, he reportedly choked her and smacked her in the face. The local rag reports that the boyfriend now has been charged with assault.

Court records show the boyfriend is free on bond awaiting a preliminary hearing. Word is he’s offered to buy the lemonade stand from those three girls and will move it to a town where he won’t get busted if he sells cool lemony libations to raise money to pay his attorney.

Is this one of those “What goes around comes around-type stories?”