According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Some bright ideas aren't so hot

Friday, July 22, 2011

Some bright ideas aren't so hot

One of the best ideas I’ve had in a long time was to adopt Sam. He is such a great little buddy. But I’ve had some other ideas that haven’t worked out so well.

An idea I had last year, to commission a custom-made foam mattress for my pickup truck, so I could sleep in the back of the truck when I went camping, wasn’t one of my better ideas. I paid beaucoup bucks for that darned mattress and haven’t slept on it yet.

Julie Bass of Oak Park, Michigan -- a mother of 6, law-abiding citizen, and gardener – had an idea that didn’t work out so well either; she planted a vegetable garden in her front yard and nearly wound up doing hard time in the local lockup.

Colleen Vanderlinden reported in the July 8, issue of Food and Health, that Ms. Bass planted her garden after her front yard was torn up for some sewer repairs. Not wanting to replant a grass lawn, she installed 5 raised beds in her front yard and planted a mix of squashes, corn, tomatoes, flowers, and other veggies.

But then Ms. Bass received a warning from the City of Oak Park telling her to remove the vegetable garden, because it didn’t adhere to city ordinances. Ms. Bass failed to heed the warning and was charged with a misdemeanor, which could have resulted in 93 days in the slammer.

Luckily, Ms. Bass’ predicament was reported on Facebook and other social media pages and by television stations and the City of Oak Park relented and dropped the charges against her.

Another idea that wasn’t such a hot one was the bright notion a Wyoming man named Warren Kelvin had, which involved taking two Viagra and attempting to walk through a TSA checkpoint at Nashville International Airport with a big stiffy. The TSA people didn’t give Mr. Kelvin a “pat-down” when he went through the checkpoint the first time, so he got back in line again and again and again – a total of four times - until a TSA officer finally physically inspected the bulge in his sweatpants. I don’t know – and don’t care – what happened after that!

But Mr. Kelvin could have saved himself considerable money by merely borrowing a good-sized zucchini squash from Ms. Bass instead of wasting two Viagra at almost $15 a pop.

Yet another bad idea – a really bad idea – was the new Sarah Palin movie “The Undefeated.” According to filmmaker Steve Bannon, the movie screened in 10 markets and grossed $65,132. Most likely, the only place the gross will go from there is down, down, down. The public will give it the royal flush. So, look for the movie soon at your local supermarket marked down to $1.99.

One could point out that “The Undefeated” was unfortunate enough to open the same week as “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II,” which played in 4,375 theaters nationwide and grossed nearly $250 million ($500+million globally). That’s about $50,000 per screening for Harry(in U.S.) as opposed to $6,500 for Palin.

Sorry Sarah. Quit teasing us with your boring life and wanting us to make up your mind whether you should run for president. You shouldn’t. It’s a baaaad idea.


  1. You are aware that the Viagra story is satire...

    I'd know... I wrote it...

  2. I wasn't aware of that. But thanks for letting me know. It made a great story nonetheless. And it's nice to finally receive a comment from someone. Do you have a blog I can read?