According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Smart phones not for us

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Smart phones not for us

Sam and I don’t want a smartphone. Forgive us if we sound like noobs, but apps that transmit our secrets to the whole wide world make us jumpier than Sam when he really, really, really has to go.
According to a story in The Wall Street Journal, smart phone apps may be revealing more about us than neighborhood gossips. An investigation by the Journal found last year that 56 of 101 popular smartphone apps for the iPhone and Android smartphones transmitted the phone's unique device ID and other supposedly private information to other companies without the user's knowledge or consent. A team comprised of researchers from Duke University, Penn State University and Intel Labs initially reported the discovery.
You realize of course, that the vast majority of apps cater to our rampant consumerism and the more retailers know about us personally, the more they can sell us even if we never set foot in one of their stores. We now take you to the land of Star Trek and Buck Rogers. Beam me up Lord!
If I had a smartphone, I can’t help wondering what the apps would reveal about Sam and me.
I would definitely download a Starbucks app. I wish there were an app for Rocket Donuts in Bellingham, my favorite donut shop. I also would download recipe book apps. Sam probably would want me to download a pet store app or grocery store app where I would buy him doggie treats online. But would those apps reveal so much about our bad eating habits that the weight police would come looking for us? A calculator app might help me balance my checkbook, but would the IRS and others be snooping into my bank account?
I wouldn’t be keen on downloading any app that allowed me to read books on line either. Call me old-fashioned, but I like the feel of a real book in my hands when I read. I usually read trashy detective novels, so what would that tell the snoops about me?   
If there was a religion app where I could type in “forgive me Father for I have sinned,” that might be useful. But I would probably then be asked for details and next thing you know my sordid sins would be splashed all over one of those gossip rags for grocery shoppers to read at the checkout counter.
A phone locater app probably would be the best app for me ‘cause I lose my dumb phone all the time.  Speaking of a locater app, what if you downloaded a GPS type one that secretly let the whole world go to the bathroom with you? If pictures of that started circulating . . . OMG!
I don’t know, maybe I’m making a big puss pocket out of a mere blood blister. I mean, THEY know who we are and what we’re doing anyway – you know who I’m talking about.
Sam and I agree. No smart phone for us (probably).

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