According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Putting the WHAM on snakes

Monday, March 21, 2011

Putting the WHAM on snakes

I recently came across a story that some researchers were trying to develop a pill to help people overcome their fear of snakes. Sam wanted to get the straight poop on that so I looked into it and here's what we have to say about the subject.
As far as Sam and I are concerned, this ranks right up there with finding the cure for Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), the cure for feeling tired and listless (fibromyalgia) and the cure for ED (erectile dysfunction). In this country, if scientists can attach a label to your ailment, you can take a pill for it.
Snakes scared the crap out of me until I learned about WHAM. That would be Whack Hard And Maim – like the fat broad in the BC comic strip does. But apparently, WHAM is somewhat prehistoric.
Seattle’s KING 5 news recently reported on this snake research. It’s being carried out at Hartford Hospital in Connecticut. I Googled Hartford Hospital and their website said quote, “This study is open to adults, ages 18-65, who currently have a moderate to severe fear of snakes. Participants in this study will undergo a clinical interview, 2 MRI scans, and will receive a free one-session exposure therapy for their fear. The study examines whether a medication, D-cycloserine, an FDA approved antibiotic, will improve how well exposure therapy works given in low dosages on hour before the therapy session.”
KING 5 showed a nice middle-aged-looking woman gingerly handling a snake after taking a pill. The snake was a creepy orange and white one. It slithered over the woman’s hands and arms . . . ooo. Ick! Too bad the woman wasn’t Nastassja Kinski. Remember Nastassja on the cover of Rolling Stone with nothing but a snake coiled around her bare and beautiful body? The snake doing the creepy crawly on the lady in the newscast probably was thinking to itself, “This isn’t Nastassja. Those researchers promised me Nastassja! ! I should bite this broad just to show these people how pissed off I am.”
See, I think that’s how snakes think. That’s why I like WHAM. As far as I’m concerned, the only good snake is a properly flattened snake. WHAM!
Hartford Hospital wants to keep information from this study confidential. Duh. No savvy researcher wants it to leak out that a test subject freaked after playing patty cake with old Mr. Snakerrooski and commenced blasting folks with his AK-47.
No wonder we can’t lick the drug problem in this country. When will science design a pill to cure poverty, to reduce our reliance on foreign oil or to feed starving people? What’s that old saying about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure? WHAM works and it costs far less than driving to the drugstore.
At least that’s the way Sam and I see it.

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