According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Does Lake On Mars Mean There Might Have Been Christmas Trees Too?

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Does Lake On Mars Mean There Might Have Been Christmas Trees Too?

Sam asked me if I thought there were Christmas trees on Mars.

“Gee, I don’t think so. It’s awfully dry and arid.”

“Well,” Sam said, “I asked because I noticed you reading that article in USA Today about some geophysicists saying there once was a giant lake on Mars; maybe even more than one lake. Supposedly, the Mars Rover has found evidence of a lake.”

“That was an interesting article, but I couldn’t help wondering if those geophysicists were engaging in some wishful thinking. For many years now our country’s scientific community has been telling us there might once have been life on Mars. One can’t help thinking the scientists are casting an eye on Mars as a future planet for us, you know, to escape to once global warming drives us off the earth. Or maybe the scientists are hoping they’ll learn something from the dryness of Mars that will tell us how to cope with our coming dryness. Who knows?

“Remember those old movies where life on earth was ending and people were panicking to get on space ships to blast off to another planet? Remember? I used to watch those with total fascination.”

“What really tickled me about that water on Mars article,” Sam said, “was the headline that said, ‘Martian swimming hole holds hope.’ Excuse me, but what imaginative writer came up with that swimming hole headline?”

“I can just see little green people with big bug eyes and purple antennae wearing bikinis with leg holes for each of their three legs,” I giggled. “Do you suppose they wore suntan lotion? Or would their green skin coloring keep them from burning?”

“Heck if I know,” Sam said. “But you know, I’m wondering if giant dinosaurs drank up all the water in the lakes and that’s what made them go dry.”

“Heck if I know,” I said.

“Do you suppose they water skied, inner tubed, belly boarded or any of that stuff?”

“Heck if I know.”

“You don’t know very much do you,” Sam growled at me.

“Well, I’m not a scientist. But I can’t help wondering if the lakes on Mars dried up because of overdevelopment. You know how we’re overdeveloping our land here on Earth and squabbling over water rights?”

“You might have something there,” Sam acknowledged.

“I can just see the Martian media advertising water view condos,” I laughed.

“Wonder how much a condo with a lake view cost on Mars,” Sam speculated. “It would be nice to get one with a big window that we could stand our Christmas tree in front of, but a condo like that probably would cost more than you could afford, huh?”

“Heck if I know.”

“Will you quit saying that!”

“Heck if I know! Besides, you started it.”

“Aarggh! Sometimes you make me so mad I want to pee on your leg.”

“I wonder if they had dogs on Mars?

“Green Martian dogs? With two heads and six legs or something like that?”

“Heck if I know.”

“Will you quit saying that!”

“I hope the Mars park department posted poop bags around the lake,” I said.

“Oooh. Martian dog poop! Gross!

“No more gross than yours.”

“You don’t think so, huh?”

“Heck if I know.

“Wait now Sam, what are you doing? Put your leg down! Sam!”

Merry Christmas everyone!

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