According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: It's No Sin to Dress Up A Little for Church. It Won't Kill You

Friday, October 25, 2013

It's No Sin to Dress Up A Little for Church. It Won't Kill You

May the saints bedevil anyone who wears shorts to church. Call us judgmental if you will, but Sam and I don’t think females - especially young girls - showing off their hot legs in church is really appropriate. And we don’t think guys should wear shorts to church either. The one and only time it might be appropriate to wear shorts to church is at an outdoor camp meeting. How about a little propriety huh?

Yeah, yeah, we know God and Jesus care less about what you wear to church than we do. They probably are just happy with the fact that you show up once in awhile. But personally Sam and I think it’s good and definitely okay to dress up for God and Jesus when you go to church.

Okay, guys, you don’t want to wear ties. Ladies, you don’t want to wear dresses. But how about NOT wearing jeans just one day of the week? I mean, you dressed up to get married and you’ll probably be dressed up for your funeral, what’s it going to hurt to be a little bit sartorial on Sunday?

How about giving up the football or other sports jerseys on Sunday too? God and Jesus don’t care if the Seahawks or Huskies win or lose. And ladies, they don’t think you have B.U.M. equipment. Don’t you remember that phrase, “fearfully and wonderfully made?”

Please don’t wear “I’m with stupid tee shirts.” Good grief. And God and Jesus may know where Hollister is (I remember it as a little agricultural spot in the road in California), but they probably tisk-tisk the idea that you think you have to wear Hollister shirts just because all your friends do.

Please guys, no military fatigues either, unless you really are in the military and you expect to be called out to battle or shipped overseas in the next couple of hours. Of course, if you’re from nearb y Joint Base Lewis/McChord, forget what I just said.

Another thing, is it really necessary to have espresso machines in the lobby of the church and to bring your skinny, decaf, mocha latte to your pew with you? If you do that in a Roman Catholic Church, the communion wine is going to task like crap (sorry God and Jesus). Besides, that latte goes better with coffee cake than a holy wafer.

And as long as Sam and I are ragging on you miserable sinners, it is totally necessary to have rock n’ roll at church? I was told by a Quaker once that they just sat in silence in church and prayed the whole service long. There’s a concept!

This lackadaisical, dress-anyway-you-want trend probably started with people like that guy in Southern California who started that drive-thru church at an old drive-in movie. What a weird world we live in. Would it hurt you to dress up - even just a little - one day a week? No, it wouldn’t make you or your experience any holier, but it would sure be easier on the eyes of the rest of us.

I know we’re being judgmental and that’s not very holy. But three bags of poop on turning up at church looking like a poor homeless street urchin - unless you really are. Would it kill you to dress up a little?

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