According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: I'd Sooner Give Up Celibacy than Sex. What Do You Think?

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I'd Sooner Give Up Celibacy than Sex. What Do You Think?

I tried to give up sex for Lent onetime but I couldn’t do it. Since this is a general audience blog I won’t go into details, but my hat’s off to anyone who chooses to go celibate. Forget that! Poor Sam, he didn’t even have a choice. I got him cut off at the pass (so to speak) early on. He’ll sniff a female’s behind but I don’t think he would know what to do if the female said to him, “Why don’t you and I go over behind that tree for a few minutes Big Boy.”

Going celibate has always seemed like a crazy idea to me. I thought briefly in my younger years that I might become a priest, but I realized that kind of life wasn’t for me. Apparently it wasn't for a lot of guys who took up the priesthood either . . .

So, I read with interest a story by Alexandra Wolfe n the Wall Street Journal about this French author, Sophie Fontanel, who wrote a book titled L’Envie, about giving up sex cold turkey and going celibate for more than 10 years. Aside from the fact that Ms. Fontanel advocates celibacy as a way to develop stronger relationships with men (who?), the really scary thing about her book is that it reportedly has sold more than 150,000 copies, which means a lot of women out there may be thinking along her same wavelength. Jeez Louise. Guys have a hard enough time finding and developing good relationships and books like Ms. Fontanel’s sure don’t help.

You would just know that Ms. Fontanel is French. Sam and I don’t understand why so much of the world, especially the U.S. part of it, thinks French women are the sexiest women on earth. I’ve never met one who was. Ms. Fontanel does admit that French women who think they are “queens of sexual activity” are probably “very big liars,” and I suspect she is right. French women have become mythical love goddesses, but the myth is just a bunch of baloney - about the same as the one about the French being the best cooks in the world. How could any people so chicken-hearted when it comes to fighting war be great lovers or great cooks? That doesn’t compute for me.

Anyway, I’m probably not going to read Ms. Fontanel’s book. Apparently, she wrote that although she was lonely when she first gave up sex, she got a cat for companionship and paid for regular massages to substitute for her lack of physical relationships. Those are substitutes?!

I haven’t even read 50 Shades of Grey, the 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E.L. James.That book traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate and a young billionaire (of course he’s rich). The book reportedly is explicitly erotic and invokes images of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM). Strangely enough, together with the second and third volumes of the Shades of Grey trilogy E.L. James has topped best-seller lists around the world, including the United Kingdom and the United States and the series has sold more than 70 million copies worldwide.

But what do the British know about sex either? Nothing! Three bags of poop on Ms. Fontanel and Ms. James’ books. Lady Chatterly’s LoverMadame Bovary and Lolita already been there and done that dudes.

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