According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Smile Suspiciously, You Might Be on A Candid Spy Camera

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Smile Suspiciously, You Might Be on A Candid Spy Camera

Feel like you’re being watched? Well, Sam and I are keeping our eyes on you. We know when you don’t read our blog. We have ways.

Seriously, what is all this fuss about the government tracking our phone and internet messages? Does that really surprise you? You really think you have a private life in this age of electronics? Get over yourself. You’re not that special.

You shouldn’t be caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing anyway, should you? Therefore, you shouldn’t worry. There’s no such thing as total privacy anymore. When you sign up for a credit card, when you charge something on your credit card, when you call someone on your cell phone, when you use an ATM machine, almost anything you do these days sets off a tracking bot that hunts you down like a felonious virus and soaks up your personal information like a sponge. And speaking of viruses, our computers are so susceptible to viruses yours probably has one that’s spying on you and you don’t even know it.

It’s really eerie when I go to a store for something these days and a clerk asks me my name. Next thing I know the clerk (looking at his or her computer screen) says, “Oh yes. There you are.” When you go to the doctor or dentist for a medical treatment, “Oh yes, there you are.” Lucky for Sam and me we haven’t had to go to the police station and hear, “Oh yes, there you are.” But I won’t be surprised someday if that happens too.

Sam and I actually don’t mind being spied on all that much. With us two publicity-seeking hounds, our mantra is more like, “I don’t care what you say about me, just spell my name correctly.” Trouble is, we’ve all read stories or heard stories where somebody’s identity got mixed up with somebody else’s and the wrong person was accused of a crime or sent an electric bill for a gazillion dollars or something like that. Sam and I don’t mind being spied on as long as the spies don’t mix us up with someone else.

You’d think, of course, with all this spying going on, that there would be less crime, but there isn’t. I can’t count how many times I’ve read or heard on the news this week already about some guy attempting to grab a woman or child and take off with them. And people are shooting each other right and left. It’s like open season out there. For all our sophisticated surveillance we didn’t manage to prevent the Boston Bombers, did we? Problem there, as happens in so many cases, was the “intelligence” we supposedly had on those two brothers was discounted by our law enforcement people; even when suspicions about then bombers previously reached all the way to Russia. Crikey dudes!

Well, Sam and I don’t want to be spied on anymore than anybody else wants to be spied on, but we are, and you are, and so is everybody else. Two bags of poop on Big Brother gathering information about us and not adequately protecting us though; that totally sucks.

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