According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: Crammed Into An Airline Seat Screaming Get Me Outa' Here!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Crammed Into An Airline Seat Screaming Get Me Outa' Here!

I just don’t know whether to ride Alaska Airlines or to chide them, but since I’m not planning to fly anywhere soon, I’ll chide them.

Sam and I read with a little more than a bit of outrage this week, a newspaper article by The Olympian’s John Gillie, that said Alaska Airlines “is spending $100 million to replace seats in about 75 percent of its fleet over the next two years.”

Why is that so aggravating? It could be a good thing, right? It’s aggravating because the new seats are supposed to be “slimmer” to allow the airline to carry more passengers - supposedly without sacrificing leg room. You can bet that last part is only true if you don’t mind sitting sideways or having your arms strapped tightly to your sides. Airlines will do anything they can these days to stuff more of us sardines into their flying cans. Alaska’s move, which will add six seats to its 737-800 aircraft and nine seats to its 737-900 planes will, according to John Gillie, “increase the airline’s seat count by 475 total, giving the airline more tickets to sell without buying more new planes. Great. More people to die with when the plane goes down.

Let’s see, an average of $300 per day times 45 seats times 365 days adds up to almost $5 million. But wait, I’m no good at math. Alaska says it will recoup the $100 million spent on the new seats in about two years. I forgot that airplanes fly more than once a day, so there you go.

Apparently, one Alaska exec. has said that the new slimmer seats - still the same width but without as much cushioning - save leg and knee room by moving the document pocket from the bottom of the seat to an area above the tray table. As a perk for passengers willing to fork over their hard-earned cash to be subjected to slaughter-pen dynamics, Alaska plans to retrofit its planes with USB connections for individual electronic devices and a wireless entertainment system to beam movies and shows to individual electronic devices. In other words, they’re going to try to keep your mind occupied with senseless crap so you won’t care if you’re suffering. But bet your bottom dollar that electronic stuff will cost you more money though The only good I can see coming out of all these so-called improvements is a slimmed down beverage cart that can maneuver along the center aisle more easily (hopefully before you die of thirst and without removing part of your elbow).

I used to think of Alaska Airlines as the pride of the Pacific Northwest. They were on time (mostly) they served good food and they treated you pretty well. And they seemed somehow to avoid the rampant bankruptcy of other airlines. Alaska doesn’t seem to be on time as frequently these days - I can tell you stories - they don’t serve real food anymore, just some nut mix unless you want to buy a sandwich, and it’s obvious that you are nothing more than a number with dollar signs.

Sam and I know airlines need to make a profit. And we realize we can’t drive across country and stay in motels for the price of a plane ticket. Still, it’s too bad the old days are gone forever. Flying used to be fun; it wasn’t even too bad having to go through the FSA lines. But the way airlines treat us now and stuff us into their fuselage sausages like so many little wiener pigs totally oinks. Three bags of poop on flying that isn’t fun anymore.

1 comment:

  1. I agree. I used to think Alaska was the best airline to fly. Not anymore and those seats are fine if you weigh 90 lbs or are a small child!