According to Sam and Jim Commenting on things that irk us off, make us laugh out loud or just seem too weird too believe According to Sam and Jim: How to Help Your Guy Man Up

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

How to Help Your Guy Man Up

Hey ladies! If you’re still looking for that just-right, last-minute Christmas gift for your boyfriend, spouse or significant other, Sam and I have a suggestion: testosterone. Seriously.

Okay, maybe not too seriously. But Sam and I are getting tired of seeing those advertisements on TV touting the magic medicinal effects of testosterone and testosterone supplements - you know, the same kind of thing athletes get in trouble for using.

The products being advertised range from pills to underarm gel (like deodorant) and promise to help combat your man’s fatigue and lack of energy, increase his strength and endurance, improve his moods (no more mister grumpy), increase his libido and improve the quality of his erections. Muscle mass usually increases slightly but alas not generally enough to enhance his ability to play sports in the NFL or NBA. Some so-called scientific (?) tests reportedly show that testosterone supplements may be especially valuable to improve sex function, energy, memory and blood cell counts in men 65 or older. You know, if they aren’t already dead - what old geezer wouldn’t want that - but there doesn’t seem to be any real proof. Still, I’ve never met a woman who didn’t want to help her guy improve. If you want your guy to man up again, buy him some testosterone.

Testosterone is a naturally occurring hormone in our bodies. Men have more of that than they have estrogen. Having more testosterone makes us men. Women have less testosterone and more estrogen - which makes them women (vive la difference!) At least that’s the way things used to work. Unfortunately, one of nature’s immutable laws is that we men lose testosterone as we age. Thus the loss of our strength, vitality, and uh . . erections. Supplementing a man’s testosterone though can be hazardous to his health. Heart problems and prostate cancer can be unwanted side effects. Supplementing also can be hazardous to the health of women and children and possibly complete strangers too. Users of the underarm gel and a gel you rub on your arms and shoulders are warned to avoid contact with women and children until they (the men) have washed the gel off. Children accidentally exposed can experience a sudden onset of puberty - God forbid!

Sam and I don’t know if you women who will want to buy testosterone supplements for your guys are panting for a sexual encounter like the women in the Viagra, Cialis and Levitra ads, but maybe you are. We can’t help wondering thought what will happen to some poor dumb guy who takes a testosterone supplement and a libido booster pill at the same time! We suspect he might kill himself trying to swing at baseballs …or something.

Some testosterone supplements can be bought over the counter or even on line, so ladies it would be fairly easy to keep your Christmas present a surprise. Other supplements need a prescription and most of the supplement manufacturers say your guy should talk to his doctor before using the supplements. Good advice, especially if the doctor could be a psychiatrist. Remember the saying, “You can’t go back there?” Well, there is no fountain of youth and you cannot become young again - EVER. Two bags of poop on testosterone supplements. You and your guy both should want him to grow old gracefully.

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