Tiding You Over Until Monday

Here’s something Sam and I think you should know. According to an article by Associated Press reporter Ben Nuckols, thieves prefer to steal Tide rather than other laundry detergents? Nuckols’ article didn’t say why.

But can’t you just imagine the conversation between two jail mates?

“What’re you in for?” one asks the other.

“They say I murdered my wife.”

“Did you go down for first degree, second degree, what?”

“First. I could have pled to manslaughter but apparently, the detergent I used to launder the bed sheets didn’t remove all the blood stains.”

“Tried to do a white wash, eh? Did you use Tide?”

“No, I used brand X.”

“You should have used Tide.”

According to Nuckol’s AP article, Tide is this nation’s most popular brand of laundry detergent and it ‘s expensive. It reportedly goes for as much as $20 for a large bottle at the stores. Thus, there is a thriving black market for Tide. Some stores, including Wal Mart and CVS pharmacies, have been losing thousands of dollars worth of Tide a week.

You can imagine the police saying, “It’s a Tide-al wave of crime. “Trying to stop these thefts is like shoveling sand against the Tide. People who steal the detergent to sell it on the black market are earning enough money during these tough economic times to Tide them over and then some.”

Kathleen and I don’t use Tide at our house because is seems to make me itch. I’ve been tempted to use it on Sam a time or two because he gets so dirty going outside in the rain, but I’d never do it. No, Sam gets baby shampoo - gentle, no tears baby shampoo. I’m glad we can’t use Tide in our dishwasher ‘cause it’s too expensive and we wash a ton of dishes. I swear, I don’t know how two people can create so many dirty dishes.

According to an article written by Mary Bellis, titled The History of Soaps and Detergents, appearing on the internet site About.com, Tide was created in 1943. “It was a combination of synthetic surfactants and "builders." The builders helped the synthetic surfactants penetrate the clothes more deeply to attack greasy, difficult stains. Tide was introduced to test markets in October 1946 as the world’s first heavy-duty detergent. Consumer response was immediate and intense. Tide detergent outsold every other brand within weeks. It became so popular that store owners were forced to limit the quantity purchased per customer.

“Tide detergent was improved 22 times during its first 21 years on the market, and Procter & Gamble still strives for perfection. Each year, researchers duplicate the mineral content of water from all parts of the United States and wash 50,000 loads of laundry to test Tide detergent’s consistency and performance.”

Consumer Reports has conducted several studies on laundry detergents and Tide comes out on top with the cleanest clothes in most of the studies.

So now, if you’ve stolen some Tide and you’re going to the black market with it, you have some useful facts to help you make a sale. That ought to Cheer you up (did I say that?)

Sam and I say two bags of poop on Tide thieves.