Love Talk Ain't So Easy

Do you talk to your significant other much? More than 12 minutes during say, an hour-long dinner?

Sam and I came across a Stouffer’s frozen food advertisement recently that asked that question. The advertisement was trying to get us to buy one of Stouffer’s frozen entrées so we wouldn’t have to cook dinner. We could just microwave dinner and thus have more time for conversation?

A typical dinner conversation between Kathleen and I goes something like this?

“How was your day?”

“Fine. How ‘bout yours?”

“Fine. Wanna’ watch the news on TV?”

“Sure.”

So we sit down to eat whatever we’ve prepared for dinner (sometimes she cooks, sometimes I do) and eat and watch the news. During dinner the conversation usually goes like this:

“Would you pass the milk please?”

“Here you go. We’re having broccoli again, huh?” (That would be me).

“It’s good for you.” (That would be Kathleen).

After dinner, the conversation goes something like this:

“I’ll clear the dishes.” (Me)

“I’m going upstairs to practice my music.” (She plays the recorder - sort of like a flute).

“I’ll probably work on my blog.”

“Wanna’ watch MASH first?”

“Sure.”

We watch two episodes of MASH, then Kathleen goes upstairs. I ask Sam if he needs to go pee and drag him off the couch to go outside. Back in the house I put him in his crate for the night then I work on my blog until Kathleen comes back down stairs.

“I’m ready for bed,” she says. “I think I’ll climb under the covers and read a magazine.”

“Ok,” I say, “I’m going to watch TV a little while longer.”

About nine or ten o’clock I climb into bed. Kathleen may or may not have fallen asleep already.

“’Night babe,” I say rolling over to kiss her.

“’Night,” she murmurs.

“Love you,” I say.

“Love you too, she replies.

And that’s about it. Exciting huh? A recent British study reveals that 20 years into marriage, the average couple talks only about 21 minutes of an hour together. If dinner only takes about half an hour like ours does, we probably don’t converse more than 12 minutes. Occasionally the conversation will vary, but not much and not often. I agree with the Brits that 20 years of marriage seems to have that effect on conversation with your significant other.

But maybe there’s hope. I also saw this thing in the paper about activities you could partake in this time of year wearing shorts. That’s right, shorts! The weather has been practically balmy this week - in the high 50’s and low 60’s and to us Northwesterners who just survived an awful snow and ice storm two weeks ago, it’s time to break out the shorts. When I first moved here from California I was astounded that people jumped into their shorts and started drinking beer when the sun came out and the temperature hovered around 60. But having lived here nearly 40 years now and knowing how rare sunny weather can be I understand.

One conversation I can imagine having with Kathleen after I jump into my shorts is this:

“You going to wear those out in public?”

“Yeah, why?”

“They’ve got a big grease spot on them and they’re torn.”

“I’m just going out to the patio to sit in the sun a bit and drink a beer.”

“And you don’t care if the neighbors see you in those shorts.”

“No.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Trust me, the world won’t end.”

But the conversation did and that was probably less than 12 minutes long too.

A bag of poop on short conversations with your significant other. I’ll work on that before Valentine’s Day gets here.